What Are You Willing To Give?

 by Evangelist Shirlene Bailey

Can you picture a bride in the most beautiful gown imaginable? Now picture a groom in the finest, tailored tuxedo standing at the altar.  Let’s add bridesmaids and groomsmen in their proper places.  Finally, let’s add a flower girl, a ring bearer and the preacher.  Now everyone is in place as the bride and groom gaze into each others eyes and after the preachers recites a litany of promises that are expected by all to be fulfilled by them, the bride and groom each say “I will”.  Although we enter marriage making many promises, have we really pondered what will it take for the relationship to work? Often times we go into marriage seeing only what we will get from it, but what are you willing to give?

Marriage, at its best, is a relationship of give and receive.  I deliberately used the word “receive” instead of "take" because “take” implies a forceful gain, or a right of entitlement, whether one deserves it or not. The benefits of marriage are a blessing and when this is understood one receives what their spouse offers with a grateful heart, and not a selfish heart. 

Marriage is a relationship that definitely takes two people willing to give and to receive in order to ensure balance. Just think about Jesus and His bride, the church. Jesus came. He gave His life as that of a dowry for His potential bride---a bride He will soon return to receive. The dowry Christ gave was His life. The price of this dowry was the shed blood of Christ. This blood purchased His bride. He was willing to give ALL He had for His bride. He left His home in glory, He enrobed His Spirit in flesh, and if that was not enough, the price He paid for His bride was His life. He was willing to give all. The question today is what are you willing to give for the betterment of your marriage?  

Now, if you are thinking “What do I get out of it?” then I suggest you go back to the drawing board--the Word of God. If we are to follow the example of Christ then we must enter marriage not with the mindset of “What’s in it for me?”, but rather “What am I willing to give to make this work?”  If we look at Christ’s sacrifice for His bride, the church, we would then gleam a better understanding of what is required of us to make our marriages work.  

Christ sacrificed Himself! We must be willing to sacrifice of ourselves in marriage. This should not include lowering our integrity, our religion, nor should I say our beliefs in connection with God.  Christ did not sacrifice who He was, He sacrificed of Himself.  He brought all of what He had to offer to the table---or shall I say, to the cross. He did all of this because He was willing to do whatever it took to show His unconditional love for us. So, what are you willing to do today to make your marriage work? And if things are already going good, then what will you do to make it even better? What will you do to keep it fresh and thriving? What will you do to encourage each other and build in your marriage?  Christ did not enter into this relationship with us looking for what He could get but rather what He could give although all of His actions caused reactions in us that were reciprocating. So, isn’t it the same in marriage? Often our actions will cause reaction whether they are good or bad. Let us then strive to do good in our actions toward each other that we may get great reactions. Ask yourself today, “What am I really willing to give and have I realistically dealt with what it takes to ‘give of myself’ for the good of my marriage”? This may be difficult, but then ask yourself, “What am I not willing to give”? This may be critical to the longevity of your marriage and communicating about it truthfully may help you and your spouse cross what may otherwise be difficult roads for success in the marriage. Christ gave so much and if we are to remotely be like Him we to must be willing to give in our relationships as well.  

I hope you are blessed and challenged by this message to explore the selflessness that Christ demonstrated in His love for the bride—the church. Saints, if we do what is instructed in the word of God concerning marriage--each doing our OWN part--then what is expected to ensure success will be so much easier.

In conclusion, think about what you should have done (gave) and found that you didn’t (give).  What was the result?  Now determine in your heart that for the betterment of your relationship the next time an opportunity presents itself you will not let it pass by.  

Until the next time, stay married!