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REAL
TALK
By
Evangelist Garlena L. Hines
“For I know that
in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no
good thing: . . . for the good that I would
I do not; but the evil which I would not,
that I do.” Romans 8: 18a/19
Many times as I prepare
to write articles, the Spirit will lead me
to have a “real talk” with the readers.
Sometimes it’s good to hear scripture about
read how Jesus raised the dead and how Peter
was so anointed that people were healed by
his shadow. Then there are times we need to
get to the gut of our situation and know how
to deal with it. I mentor single women and
many of them struggle with the same
issue…remaining celibate. While society
encourages fornication and its motto is to
do what you feel, God has a standard of
holiness that we must follow. We are in the
world but NOT of the world…meaning we live
in the world, but we do not operate as the
world does. We have a higher, supreme,
AWESOME ruler who leads and guides us into
all truths. Therefore, while many are
falling prey to the enemy, we have the Holy
Spirit to teach us all things. So, if you
are a single Christian and want to know how
to remain celibate until God sends that
special one, I pray this article will bless
you. Understand, as I write this article I,
too, fight the same demons and also have to
put my flesh under subjection. While some
times it’s easy, other times it’s a terrible
battle, but because of my relationship with
Christ, it is not worth it for me to give
up all I have with Him for a moment of
pleasure. So let’s walk through this
article together.
Let’s look at the
scripture. Paul is talking about the
struggle we all have with the flesh. He
makes a profound statement by saying
“For I know
that in me [that is, in my flesh] dwelleth
no good”.
This is the first thing we must realize.
The flesh wants to be pleased by any means
necessary. The flesh is where we live,
where we have our cravings and it’s always
at war with the spirit man (God
conscience). Readers, understand you are
not asking God to take away the desire for
sexual pleasure, because He gave it to you.
You are asking Him to help you to stand and
withhold from this act until the proper time
(marriage) has arrived and it’s to be used.
God made us to be attracted to the opposite
sex, but not do things out of His will.
Let’s look at verse 19.
Paul says
“for the good that I would I do not; but the
evil which I would not, that I do.”
How many of us can attest to this
verse? For the good we know we should do,
we do the opposite—that which we should not
do. Paul is talking about the constant
battle between the flesh and the spirit.
Have you ever done something wrong, and you
knew it was wrong, but you continued doing
it? I’ve been in some bad situations where
I was committing sin and saying to myself,
“This is not right”, but I was enjoying the
moment. How can you enjoy sin? Because it
pleases the flesh and that part of the flesh
has not been put under subjection. So how
do we keep this flesh under subjection? The
scripture says faith without works is dead.
So we have to put some work to the Word and
watch it work. Therefore, on a daily basis
we must bring our flesh under subjection.
The word is the place where we receive faith
and have power to fight the temptations we
encounter. Whatever your greatest struggle
is, locate scriptures that speak to your
situation and read them daily. When I made
a decision to be celibate until marriage, I
studied the book of Corinthians that dealt
with avoiding fornication and my body being
the temple of God. I had to literally speak
the word of God over my desires that they
may stay in the proper place. Not only did
I speak the word of God over my situation
but here are some other steps I had to take:
1.
Watch what you feed into your
spirit: When I was sexually
active there were certain types of music,
videos, drinks and foods I ate to prepare
for the evening. I loved Anita Baker (Rules
are made to be broken) and let’s not discuss
the videos, but let me say this, when you
know what will “take you there” then you
have to work at staying away from it. I
can’t listen to certain secular songs, or
watch movies/TV shows that involve a lot of
intimacy. Remember, whatever spirit you
feed will be the spirit that grows.
Therefore, you have to be honest with
yourself about what you allow yourself to
entertain.
2.
Daily meditation: I
make it a habit to meditate daily on the
scriptures that would allow me to maintain
my thoughts, feelings and actions. Again,
whatever your greatest struggle, you have to
read scriptures daily to keep that area
under subjection. Sometimes our flesh can
be like a wild dog that’s not chained. That
dog will run anywhere until it’s tamed. We
have to tame our flesh in the same manner.
3.
Know what you can handle:
This is an area that I had to perfect
because at one time I was so promiscuous.
Not only were there certain movies and types
of music that I couldn’t listen to, but
there were certain men I was uncomfortable
around. I knew the type of men I was
attracted to and I didn’t want to take the
risk of going back into bondage; therefore,
I had to keep it real with myself and do
what needed to be done. Readers, you have
to know how far a handshake, kiss, hug, or
touch will lead you. Don’t tempt
yourself.
4.
Set standards: For
those of you who are in a Christian
relationship set standards for what you will
and will not do. Many believers are
struggling in this area because there are no
standards in the relationship. I have
talked with couples who say they mutually
agree to live together and mutually agree to
be sexually active, but what they fail to
understand is that if their mutual
agreements are not in line with the word of
God then they’re only agreeing among
themselves to sin. You have to set Godly
standards and hold on to them, even if it
means there’s a risk of the relationship not
working. This is where the true test for
God will be taken. It’s up to you to pass
the test.
5. Measure your love for God: I’m
convinced that the more time we spend with
God, His desires become our desires. When
this happens, it’s almost impossible to
continue in sin and be comfortable. When we
understand God’s love for us and we desire
to please Him, than sin will be placed in
its proper perspective. I’m not limiting
this to sexual sin but I’m speaking of all
sin which does not please God.
These are only a few
things to consider in my “Real Talk” with
you this month. Remember, developing
relationships is up to each individual and
has to be done on a daily basis. Nothing
worth having will come easy and that
includes a stable relationship with God.
One of my favorite worship songs that keeps
me focused says…
"Lord you are
more precious than silver, Lord you are more
costly than gold, Lord you are more
beautiful than diamonds and NOTHING I desire
compares to you.”
That’s Real Talk…
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