The Greatest Gift You Can Ever Give--
LOVE

1 Corinthians 13:1 – 8a Love never fails

As believers and followers of Christ we have been given the greatest gift of all, love.
More importantly, that love is the love of God. There are three areas of love: Eros, Phileo and Agape. As married believers we are the only group of people who have the opportunity to share in all three types of love: Eros (erotic, passionate), Phileo (friendship or brotherly love) and Agape (Godly love, an unconditional love).

In 1 Corinthians, chapter 13 the apostle Paul deals with love. He teaches us that love is the greatest gift of all. In this text I believe that Paul wants us to understand that love (charity) is a virtue and is the greatest of the three virtues listed in 1 Corinthians 13:13 – “and now abide faith, hope, love and the greatest of these three is love.”

In this text Paul tells us that no matter what you say or do (action or deed) if it is not done in love then it means nothing to God. For the Bible tells us that man looks at the outer (acts and deeds), but God looks at the heart. What is the motive behind the act or deed? You see, God discerns whether the act is pure or impure. Paul wants us to understand that everything God did, and will ever do, is driven by His love for us. This love includes His creating us in His likeness and image. It includes Him reconciling us back to Himself after the fall of man by the shed atoning blood of His only begotten Son, Jesus the Christ (John 3:16). This love includes the plan of salvation and the inheritance we receive as His adopted children. All of this was done because of the unfailing love that God has for us, His sons and daughters. So let us look at this text to see how Paul described “perfect(ed) love”. The characteristics of Agape love are also spoken of in 1 John 4:8.

The New Spirit Filled Life Bible (NKJV) concordance states: “Without love the most magnificent manifestation of gifts and the most heroic self-sacrifice means nothing. Right things should be done with right motives.” For the gifts of the Spirit manifest the love of God in whatever you do. Therefore, love is the defining characteristic for those professing their alliance with God. Plus acting in love is the evidence of God’s presence amongst His people. In verses 1 – 3 the scriptures deal with the fact that love is essential in demonstrating that which is from God and of God. The Bible tells us that others will know we are Gods disciples by our love.

Now, as husbands and wives we can truly benefit from verses 4 – 8a. Let us venture through these verses carefully so that we may glean from Paul’s revelatory word. In this letter to the Corinthians Paul deals with several matters, including sexual immorality, marriage and divorce, spiritual immaturity, lack of discipline and the roles of the sexes. I encourage you to study so that you may know what God instructs us to do in His word in order for us to succeed in whatever we do--especially our marriages.

Let’s start at 1 Corinthians 13:4.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.” (NKJV)

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (NIV)

“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious and boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily (filled with pride or vanity).” (Amplified)

Points to Ponder
As married believers what does this mean to you?  Does your interpretation of what love is or should be line up with God’s word?  If so, would you say you are doing your best to show love toward your spouse? If not, what can you do to better demonstrate this type of love toward your spouse as God instructs in this passage of scripture? Let’s define each word, then decide if your actions, your speech, your attitude is in line with God’s Word.

• Love SUFFERS LONG (is PATIENT) – Having the ability to bear long, waiting or anything unpleasant, calmly without complaining. The opposite is impatient.
• Love is KIND – Humane, having tenderness or goodness of nature; friendly, interested in the happiness or feelings of others. The opposite is unkind.
• Love does not ENVY – shows or acts in jealousy, resents others’ accomplishments/achievements and desires the qualities that someone else possesses.
• Love is not BOASTFUL; it doesn’t brag, is not vainglorious, prideful, puffed up, self-exalted, demeaning or belittling.

Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:5.
“Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, and thinks no evil.” (NKJV)
“Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs (plural) meaning many!” (NIV)
“Love is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.” (Amplified)

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy, fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it (it pays no attention to a suffered wrong).  Now let’s be truthful, that last one is hard, especially if you do not allow the Holy Spirit to work on you!

• Rude – Not polite
• Conceited – self-centered, selfish, self-absorbed

Points to Ponder
I had someone ask me how do you know that you are “saved” (living the word)?  My response was, “Just ask the people in your house.”  If they can’t see it, then it probably isn’t there.  If the only people that love you are in your house---and you’re not really sure of that--- then you may need some help.  We are more likely to be free around those who we know on a more intimate level.  That is usually when we let our hair down and the “real you” is out.  Brothers, the hair comment is not just for the women.  You guys can get loose too.  So do you find yourself being more courteous to strangers than to your spouse?  Are you more patient when waiting for others than you are with your spouse?  If so, you may need some counseling.  Do you find yourself putting on an act for others?

Stop here and read verse 5 again, then examine yourself and on a scale of one to ten, rate yourself. How would you say you’re measuring up?  I make it a habit to practice humility, so whatever number I think I am I deliberately go down one number so that I may have something to work toward.  The Bible tells us that a man or women should not think more highly of themselves then they ought, so try it, and then others won’t have to put you in check.

The Amplified version of this text gives very descriptive words which are self-explanatory so let’s move on to the next verse, 1 Corinthians 13:6.

• “Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth”. (NKJV)
• “Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth”. (NIV)
• “Love does not rejoice at injustices and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevails”. (Amplified)
• Iniquity – wicked, very unjust (iniquitous)

Points to Ponder
Are you treating your spouse fairly?  Are you acting revengeful, repaying evil for evil in your marriage?  Are you engaging in acts of iniquity (sexual immorality, adultery and infidelity)?  Are you hateful toward your spouse?  Are you truthful with your spouse?  Do you find yourself forgiving others quicker than you would your spouse?  Do you feel resentful toward your spouse because of past and or present issues that have not been resolved?  Do you think of paying your spouse back for something he/she has done?  Have you acted upon those thoughts?

Now if none of this applies to you that’s great; however, if any of this or all of it applies to you, then you may need some (Christian) counseling.  If it is not that drastic, you may need to pray and seek God’s guidance.  Study His word pertaining to marriage and love (His love) and then come up with an action plan.  This plan should lay the framework for how you will deliberately and strategically work toward making your marriage healthy again.  God has given the greatest gift anyone could ever give to us and that was his Son. There has never been a greater display of love on this earth.  Now for a second, just imagine how pleased God would be if we demonstrated that same kind of love toward one another as husbands and wives.

Peace & blessings and until next time, stay married!

TEN THINGS THAT CAN KILL A MARRIAGE