HOW GOD KEPT MY MIND

Personal testimony of Vanessa L. McCormick

“I will keep you in perfect peace who’s mind is stayed on me, for he trusteth in me”. 
Isaiah 26:3

All of my life I was determined to do things my way. Regardless of how much my parents and grandparents prayed and counseled me, I had a plan for my life. My grandmother was a pastor and we were a part of her congregation.  During this era it was not permissible for women to be preachers--let alone pastors.   My grandmother was not concerned with what man thought, but she was concerned with answering God’s call.  For every scripture my grandmother preached, I was determine to do the opposite.  I did not know at the time how much room I was giving the enemy in my life.  I was very rebellious and mischievous.   In my mind, I was having fun and seeing what I could get by with.  My challenge was to see how many sins I could commit by the end of the month.

By the time I graduated from high school I had resorted to a life of stealing, lying, fornicating, trickery, manipulation and anything else associated with these sins.  I would wake up in the morning thinking of things to do.  After a few years it was like a rush.  I had to break some bible scripture and then I found myself breaking the law.  I began stealing out of clothing stores, grocery stores and from my friends without shame or guilt.  My grandmother was still preaching and begging me to visit the church.  I wanted nothing to do with God and my grandmother knew that I was being dishonest, but she never stopped praying for me. 

The small crimes committed were not giving me the rush I thought I needed and they were becoming very boring and old to me.  I needed a new rush.  I began dating a guy who had a wild life.  He was a “bad boy” and I was attracted to him like I was to no other man before.  When we began dating it was nice and he treated me like a queen.  Whatever I wanted, it was not too much for him to provide for me. We were living in the best neighborhood, driving the best vehicles and I soon learned that my friend was a drug dealer.  I felt that this was the rush I needed; therefore, I was committed to him and this lifestyle.  Everyone knew the type of life he lived, but I did not care.  My parents were heartbroken, yet my grandmother did not give up on me.

The rush I thought I needed came in this relationship.  There were many run-ins with the police and fights with those who did not pay their drug debt and I loved the lifestyle.  I knew the lifestyle was illegal and immoral but it was the good life and one that I deserved.  Some of the men who worked for my friend were experiencing problems with the law; therefore, my friend asked me to start transporting drugs.  I was excited about this because I felt I could learn the business and one day take over.  I was very careful about how I worked this part of the business and I would receive extra bonuses for my role in these illegal transactions.  I began to steal from my boyfriend because I made a habit of stealing as a young girl.  The business was crumbling and no one wanted to deal with my friend anymore.  He could not understand how he was becoming the least popular dealer after being in this business for over twenty-five years.  I assured him that he would one day be on the top again, but I continued stealing from him.

My plan was to continue working with him, turn him in and run the business with the clientele that he successfully built.  This was the rush I needed all of my life.  I continued working with my friend and he began to suspect that something was wrong and our relationship was on the brink of ending.  He asked if I was stealing from him because things were not adding up.  He knew his customers and things began to change when I came into the picture.  My friend had me followed.  I was being watched. Things were being set into motion to find me out.  I was unaware as to what was going on.  My friend continued to take care of me and allowed me to be a part of the business.  Needless to say, I did not know that my world was about to be shaken and my life would fall apart. 

November of 2007 was a month that I will never forget.  While I would transport the drugs I never had a desire to use them.  A week before Thanksgiving my friend strongly encouraged me to try some of the drugs and at first it was good.  One night my friend had a party, something he did all the time; therefore, it was not unusual.  Many people were there drinking, doing drug, dancing, and having orgies.  It was a rush that I enjoyed.  There was still a part of me that loved to live dangerous and on this particular night the danger almost caused me my life.  I was with one of the guys who worked for my friend and he and I were in a situation that was nice and cozy.  I had been attracted to him for a while.  I pursued my attraction for him that night and he offered me a drink to help relax me.  I didn’t remember anything after taking the drink.

Two days later I woke up and realized that I was badly beaten, raped and could not remember anything because the drug I was given caused some brain damage.  I would have hallucinations.  I was afraid to be alone, was suicidal and had a plethora of other problems.  This was the set up and pay back that had been orchestrated as a result of me stealing my friend’s money.   While hospitalized, I thought of the crimes that I had committed and the laws of God that I had broken and the people that I had hurt.  Had I allowed the enemy into my life so that he could destroy me?  That is a question that I had often asked myself.  The doctors were very concerned and told my parents that I would not be able to live alone because part of my brain was damaged.  They were not sure if I would recover and be able to fully function as an adult.

By February of 2008, my condition was not getting any better.  The doctors tried to convince my parents to put me in an adult home where I could receive twenty-four hour care.  During this time my grandmother was on a missionary journey and had not learned of my condition.  She returned at the end of February 2008 and she went into warfare on my behalf.  Because she did not work and could provide the care that I needed, I moved in with my grandmother.  Every morning we would read scriptures concerning the mind and she would lay hands on my head and speak to my brain cells.  She would use words like “I declare and decree,” or “I loose and bind.”  She would not stop praying until I was in an adult frame of mind.  Many times in the middle of the night she would be standing over me reading scriptures and praying.  As I would return to the doctors to be tested, they would notice a difference in the brain waves and they were amazed by my recovery. They would often give credit to the medication.  But one day my grandmother boldly told the neurologist, “I ain’t never seen medicine out do my God.  It is prayer that’s kept my baby.”  The doctor nodded his head and smiled.  That day I believe God became real to him.

In November of 2008 I attended a healing and deliverance service at my grandmother’s church and believed God for a miracle.  As my grandmother laid hands on me I could feel the power overtake me.  Today I am a miracle and there is no further sign of brain damage.  I now live on my own without medication or assistance.  I am fully devoted to the will of God and I boldly proclaim the power of Jesus Christ.  I attend my grandmother’s church and now serve as her armor bearer.  I thank God how HE kept my mind.